Archive | September, 2014

Tory conference delegate celebrates austerity by tweeting bottle of Bollinger

30 Sep

Pride's Purge

(not satire – it’s the Tories!)

At their party conference this week, the Tories have announced the need for yet more radical austerity and belt-tightening measures – especially for the country’s working poor.

And Tory party delegates celebrated the news of yet more hardship for millions of their fellow citizens in their usual way:

duffy bollinger

Isaac – the young Tory who tweeted his jolly bottle of conference Bolly – is up and coming in the Tory Party:

duffy tory

He’s regional chairman of the Young Conservatives (now known as Conservative Future) – and he’s fully endorsed by leading members of the party:

endorsements

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In fact, the rise of young Conservatives like Isaac shows the Tories are managing to line up another whole generation of Bollinger-quaffing out-of-touch posh boys to take over the leadership of the party from Cameron, Osborne and Boris once they’ve retired to their country estates and the House of Lords.

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Please feel free to comment. And…

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29 Sep

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The Butterfly Effect

29 Sep

Butterfly Rebellion

Our growing hope of national self-determination is no longer grounded, as it was in centuries past, in a sense of our subjection to foreign domination. Scottish political union with England in the colonial and mercantile ventures of Great Britain, albeit a clever legal fiction, has had benefits for Scotland and some of Scotland’s people. Unlike a nation which has been overrun by another, more powerful, neighbour bent on destruction and the ethnic cleansing of its population, Scotland has been part of a political union where there has been a level of coöperation and mutual participation in commerce, empire building and statecraft. It has never been a union of equals, however. The English state and its establishment have dominated the agenda and have always enjoyed the lion’s share of the benefits. At Westminster decisions are made which have always been driven by an Anglocentric understanding of the British project. From the…

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Hard Working Families To Face Triple Whammy Of Benefit Cuts Announces Multi-Millionaire Osborne

29 Sep

the void

gideon-osborneThe lowest paid working fmilies are to face a triple whammy of in-work benefit cuts multi-millionaire George Osborne announced today.

Those with jobs, but on shit wages, will see Tax Credits, Housing Benefits and Child Benefit all frozen in a real term cut to the incomes of the very poorest should the Tory Party be re-elected next year.  According to The Guardian the Tories are planning to freeze almost all benefits for two years including: “jobseeker’s allowance, tax credits, universal credit, child benefit, income support, the work-related activity component of employment and support allowance and the local housing allowance.”

Despite Tory lies to the contrary disabled people are also likely to be the hardest hit by these changes.  Whilst Osborne claims they will be protected, the inclusion of most claimants on Employment Support Allowance means that hundreds of thousands of sick and disabled people will see already meagre incomes…

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How to avoid accidentally taking pictures of your willy: a handy guide for MPs

29 Sep

Pride's Purge

(satire?)

One of the common hazards of being an MP today is the possibility that sometimes you may find yourself inadvertently taking a photograph of your willy and accidentally sending it to a journalist posing as a Swedish model.

But now – thanks to Pride’s Purge – help is at hand.

So if you are an MP, learn how to avoid this everyday problem by following these 6 simple steps:

1) Always keep photographic equipment such as mobile telephones and cameras well away from the vicinity of your willy, especially when it is exposed.

2) Double check photographic equipment is switched off – and preferably unplugged – when getting your todger out.

3) Always make sure your willy is well covered up and protected – ideally kept safely tucked away inside your underpants – when using photographic equipment.

4) NEVER be tempted to point photographic equipment in the direction of your willy – even if you think the device is…

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Loki: The Dangers of New Media and the #45

29 Sep

Being irrelevant

28 Sep

Wee Ginger Dug

Yeah! We’re irrelevant again. So we had this wee referendum thingy and Scotland scared the shiters out of the Westminster establishment – which was a lot of fun – and the UK media and political classes have gone back to ignoring us in the hope we don’t go away. Now they’re far too busy talking about UKIP, English devolution, and starting World War Three to bother themselves over much about Scotland. And there was me thinking that George Robertson had told us that it would be Scottish independence that started that. I must have missed something. Anyway, Scotland now gets to sit unobtrusively at the back of the class watching World War Three start without it being our cataclysmic fault, and we can plot how escape the clutches of the Westminster system without anyone paying us too much attention, which is pretty much the situation we’ve been in for the…

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8 things we’ve “learned” since the No vote

28 Sep

A Thousand Flowers

Sometimes being right is the very worst thing.  Saying “I told you so” can be incredibly satisfying if someone else has just made a mess of something despite your sage advice but when it’s you who gets screwed over, it’s cold comfort to have been bleating on about it.

In the wake of the No vote, politicians, the media and even the monarch have been keen to suddenly tell us things we’ve all been saying for fucking ages.  If the message last week was, “if you don’t know, vote No” this week has been more like, “you voted no, now you know.”  So without further ado, here’s a handy list of the things which we have “learned” since dependence day.

1. The oil will last for ages

Oil being a key battleground during the campaign, with the No side insisting there was hardly any, it wouldn’t last long and would…

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Panicking Cameron facing open rebellion in the event of both a YES and a NO vote

17 Sep

Pride's Purge

(not satire – it’s David Cameron!)

David Cameron is facing a rebellion from within his own party if Scotland votes YES to independence on Thursday.

But Cameron is also facing open rebellion from within his own party if Scots vote NO too.

Backbench Tory MPs are livid after Cameron – panicking as polls started to show there was a good chance YES could win – agreed with other UK party leaders to offer more powers to Scotland if Scots vote NO to independence.

Tory rebels usually prefer to stay anonymous until forced to show their hand against their leader.

Not this time. This is an open rebellion against Cameron:

tory rebellion

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Only a leader as incompetent as Cameron could find himself facing rebellion in the event of both a YES and a NO vote on Thursday.

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Related articles by Tom Pride:

BBC reporter caught red-handed manipulating video in Scottish indy campaign

Queen’s radical plan for voters to think before voting ruled ‘unconstitutional’

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Something Fishy in the Scottish Polls

16 Sep

Emerald News Network

There are two full days remaining before polls open over Scotland in a referendum that will determine whether Scotland, after 307 years of London rule, will remain with or leave the United Kingdom. Over the weekend the British state broadcaster, the BBC, highlighted the rather dubious, and embarrassingly anachronistic, support for the Better Together pro-Union campaign offered by the intensely sectarian Orange Order in its parade through the streets of Edinburgh. Yet on the other side of Scotland, in Glasgow, tens of thousands of Yes supporters crowded the streets in celebration of their anticipated referendum victory on Thursday, and not a single mention was made of it by the BBC. Over the latter stages of the campaign the BBC have been found to remove Yes supporters from the background of its ‘special reports’ and Photoshop ‘No’ signs where there were none. Under increasing pressure from the people of Scotland, and…

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